She opened her eyes. The soft red glow of her alarm clock on the bedside table read 3:17am. She was shaking, her body covered in a cold sweat. Jessica woke up as she did almost every morning around this time. The dream fresh in her mind, she sat up in bed and grabbed her Camels off of her nightstand. She was so used to doing this, that she didn't even have to turn on her lamp to light her cigarette. She stood up, shivering, and walked to her bedroom window. As she cracked the window, a cold breeze blew against her legs giving her goosebumps. Jess knew how the rest of the night would go. She would sit at her window, blowing the smoke out of the crack, thinking about a dream that she couldn't quite remember. A dream that she had just about every night since she was 18, a dream that left her shivering, damp, and scared.
She crushed out her Camel and walked to her bedroom door. She slowly opened it, knowing that if Alex heard even the slightest creak, he would wake and it would take hours to get him back to sleep. The hardwood of the floor was cold on her feet, yet this didn't stop her. She walked to Alex's open bedroom door, as she did every night, and stood in it. As she gazed at her son, she couldn't help but think of how lucky she was. The soft yellow glow of his Spongebob nightlight cast an innocent glow upon his sleeping face. His too long, blond bangs hung to one side of his face, and his little chest slowly moved up and down. He was so young, so innocent, and Jess could only hope that her own demons wouldn't haunt him, as they haunted her.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Getting the girls ready for school
Why is it so hard somedays? I work until 2am most days...and Mike gets Mikey and Lynny ready for school and brings them in the morning. When I got up at 9am today...the house was destroyed...by my lovely little angels Nina and Hanna. I've been on them all morning to clean up, and just made them lunch. well, it took them half an hour to pick up a magnet book that they dumped all over the bathroom. Now, lunch is cold and we have to leave for school :(
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